Having a Christian household means having people within the home that feel loved. This love is what builds joyful families, and joyful kids! Let’s dive a little deeper to explore how we can foster this within our walls.
If you read my last post about creating a joy-filled home, this is a follow-up! Building a joyful home means taking steps to have God at the centre of our hearts and then using that strength to pour into our children and having joyful kids.
Once we have aligned ourselves with God, and started to draw closer to Him, it’s time to take it to the next level! We need to create a space that quite literally is filled with joy and peace.
The Joy of the Lord is My Strength
I love talking about God’s joy. Why? Because it brings us strength!
God is full of joy. And sometimes we don’t envision Him that way. We see Him as our Heavenly Father, our Mighty Warrior, maybe the Lion of Judah, but how often do we picture Him as a joyful entity?
But the Bible says “He takes great delight in you and will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:16).
I love that verse. I love picturing God as a mighty warrior who will fight my battles but who also sings because of His love for me!
And He pours His love and His joy into our hearts. Which is the perfect example for us as moms. As God strengthens us, we need to turn around and fill our families in the same way.
How Do We Encourage Joyful Kids?
Just as God strengthens us with His joy, we need to strengthen our children with joy. How do we do that? I’m glad you asked – because it starts at home!
A joyful home is a place of peace. It is a place where people live together with a calmness of spirit. It is a place where love abounds.
Fostering this means two things; loving your family unconditionally and laying the ground rules about your expectations. It means that your children (and your spouse) understand what is and isn’t acceptable.
Joyful Does Not Equal Out-of-Control
We’ll start with discipline because it’s harder to talk about sometimes, but its an important element in a Christian household! Joyful kids do not mean uncontrolled kids. God doesn’t tell us to find joy anywhere we want. Some things might seem to fill us with joy but in reality they are going to empty us.
It’s important to make this distinction. Adam and Eve were given explicit instructions not to eat from the Tree of Life (Genesis 2:17). And they listened to God until someone convinced them otherwise and told them they would have so much more fun if they ate the fruit.
Yikes. That mistake shattered their home. It shattered everyone’s home. There was a consequence for not listening to God. But God still loved them. He still wanted the best for them.
Seek God’s joy over worldly joy
Even though they made a mistakes and had to face the consequences, God did not abandon them,
So yes Mama, you might need to do some prep work ahead of time so you know how to handle misbehaviour or mistakes. You are going to have consequences that make sense for your children (time outs, removal of toys or activities and so on) because children need to understand that joy has to come from the right place in their hearts.
A place of kindness, of goodness and of love.
This means knowing how and when to discipline your children. It also means knowing how to encourage them. We need to know them on a deep level, just as your Heavenly Father knows you.
Get to Know Your Children
Our kids don’t come with an instruction manual. We can read all the parenting books out there but ultimately nothing will help if we don’t know our children.
What are their personalities? What brings them joy and makes them feel loved? What are their triggers and “signs” that they are running low on joy?
My four-year-old is incredibly “needy.” That is to say he requires his cup to be poured into constantly. He is a very social creature and loves to be around people. He also loves exploring and he is in his element when he can learn new things.
My one-year-old on the other hand is independent. He will come to me occasionally but typically he is happy to play on his own. He also seems to prefer his dad (which makes me happy and sad, all at the same time!) He is incredibly quick to pick up on things and likes to push boundaries.
I have come to learn their signs, when they are calling for help in the sense that they need their love cups filled up. When they start to throw tantrums, bounce off the walls or start teasing one another with a mean spirit rather than out of fun. This is when I know they need me to fill them back up again.
They can be subtle signs but they are there. Sometimes they warrant a consequence but I know that sometimes what they really need is love. They can’t be joyful if they are feeling icky!
If I have the time I will sit and play with them but the reality is, sometimes I have to fill love cups on the run. Sometimes it’s a two-minute game of chase, a quick hug session or simply holding them on my lap with a book on the kitchen floor while a pot simmers.
Regardless of when it happens, the point is that I took a minute (or 5) to pour some love and then joy into them. Once that happens, they become the joyful kids I know!
Raise Every Child Differently
I’m not here to tell you how to parent but I can say that the way you raise each child will be different. And that’s why you need to know them at a deep level.
We want to have happy campers in our home. We want our children to feel joyful, as much as humanly possible.
Know your children like your Heavenly Father knows you.
Every child will be different. Some children need quality time, some need physical touch, others need words of affirmation! If these sound familiar, they are Love Languages, and yes when we speak our kids’ language, we fill them with love!
Having joyful kids is having kids who feel your love. And when we as parents provide them with this love, we are giving them the tools to be calm, attentive, cooperative people.
Christian Household
How do joyful kids make for a Christian household? When children are confident in your love and the love of our Heavenly Father, it helps bring peace into your home.
There will be days of frustration, bickering and sadness, but when your home is built on God’s love, you can stand firm during turbulent times.
When our children feel love poured into them they know where to turn when they need support. They also know the boundaries and how far they can push limits. Kids love to push limits because they want to know how far our love will stretch!
We will always love our children, even when they need a time-out, just as God will always love us no matter what situations we find ourselves in.
As our kids grow they learn that love is what brings them a joyful spirit and that their Lord of Peace provides even more of this love!
So if you are looking to fill your children with joy, be sure you fill them with love first. When you sense they are struggling, remind them of who they are.
They are:
Children of God. They are His gifts and they are loved beyond measure.
So set the necessary boundaries for your children and fill their little hearts with love. Remind them everyday that their Heavenly Father is a mighty God who is filled with joy and peace and wants to share that with them. Let this be the solid foundation for your Christian household and raise those joyful kids!
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