Raising children is hard. And it is only made harder by the fact that we live in a world full of fear and anxiety. Overcoming the fear of parenting and raising healthy, thriving children who will grow up to serve God’s purpose is possible! Here’s how.
“I wouldn’t want to raise children in today’s society.”
I remember hearing this before I met my husband. I was young(ish) but looking forward to getting married and raising a family. To say I was excited to have kids of my own was an understatement.
Then I heard this comment from a church member.
I’ll be honest, I don’t remember the person who said it but I remember the words and ouch, they stung. It stung so much that I had to take a step back and consider why it bothered me so much.
Our Own Fears
Part of the reason I was so upset was because I had a personal reaction to the comment. Having children was something I desperately wanted but I also was worried about raising them. We all know that one of the biggest parenting struggles is the actual parenting aspect!
And someone from a church community was saying they wouldn’t want to raise children in today’s society. It knocked the wind out of me hearing it from someone who had raised children already. If they couldn’t do it again, how could a newbie do it?
The Fear of Failing
As Christian parents, we want to raise Christian children. We want our kids to have a strong understanding of God’s unconditional love, His forgiveness and the salvation He offers. We want them to be able to go out and reach other people with the light He has given them.
But of course, we fear that we will fail in all these things. Parenting fail, as some describe it, is a real fear! We are plagued with insecurities about giving them a Christian foundation they can stand on, and disciplining them in a way that encourages growth and helps them find success.
And what if they fall away from God? What if they aren’t “fruitful?” What if our efforts amount to nothing?
We Are Called to Raise Children for Today
We know God calls us to raise children, to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). We can take comfort in this. Children are a blessing God bestows on us. And for this reason we know it is good to have children!
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.
Psalm 127:3
We are raising children to be fruitful and to be Godly members of society. We send them out with biblical knowledge and arm them with prayer.
And that is the most terrifying part; knowing that one day we will send our precious babies out into society. As my church member alluded to, raising children with the ability to walk in today’s society is a scary undertaking!
Overcoming the Fear of Parenting
I will say that I have felt more spiritual attacks during my time as a mom than at any other point in my life. I’ve worked with kids my whole life, as a teacher, at Christian camps, as a youth leader and in many other capacities.
But now that I am a mom, now that I am living one of the most difficult callings God has given me, I feel the pressure of the evil one. It is he who doesn’t want us raising children in this society. He doesn’t want any more God-given talents being used to shine in the darkness he’s created. He wants to scare us into thinking things are so dark and so bad that we shouldn’t attempt it.
That right there, is the root of our fear. Overcoming the fear of parenting means overcoming the master of all fear.
Once we know that, we can breath easy. Why? Because we have God on our side.
God Has Plans for Your Kids
We are children of God and our God overcame evil. He overcame the world. And God has plans for your children. He has given them unique personalities, with unique traits that He needs for His work. Overcoming the fear of parenting means understanding the promises God has made for our kids.
And more than that, God has spiritual gifts that he offers those who have accepted His salvation. Talents and capabilities that are used to serve others and build God’s community of believers.
We don’t know God’s plan. We don’t know the gifts He has ready for our children, but we know they will be good. Because every good and perfect gift comes from above (James 1:17).
Our job as parents is to raise children with this in mind. We don’t know who they will become so we raise them with biblical teachings, with Christian characteristics and with prayer. We teach them about the fruits of the spirit, about loving their neighbour and about using biblical discernment. Then we let God do the rest.
I can see the uniqueness God has given my children and it is wonderful! God has plans for my boys and He has given them talents to use for His purpose. If I didn’t take on the challenge of raising children, there would be two-less people in the world sharing God’s love in their unique way! Overcoming the fear of parenting has brought me joy and I know my boys will continue to spread this joy in their lives too.
What to Say When Someone is Afraid of Raising Children
So when someone says they wouldn’t want to raise children in today’s society, you can be sure that those comments come from a place of fear. They come from a place of doubt and uncertainty. And we know that God is love and His love has driven out fear (1 John 4:18).
Overcoming the fear of parenting children in today’s society means having absolute certainty in God. Absolute certainty that He will guide our parenting decisions and absolute certainty that He will take care of our children.
He doesn’t promise that it will be easy or pretty or painless, but He promises to be with you every step of the way. And He promises to shower you with love, strength and endurance every day.
And that is what we can tell others. We raise children because we need them in society. We need God-created boys and girls who will grow into Christ-centred men and women.
So fear not. Parenting is a difficult task but it is highly regarded by God. He has called us to nurture the next generation because He has plans for them.
Stay rooted in scripture, pray over your children and tell them every day the love their Heavenly Father has for them. Do not be overcome by the fears of the world, raising children in today’s society is a calling from God and His plans are always good!
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Overcoming the Fear of Parenting Children in Today’s Society
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