Have you ever wanted to fix something about someone? Maybe your spouse has an annoying habit you want to change or your child has a personality trait that needs “adjusted.”

These changes might be things you think will improve the person. Maybe it’ll make them more likeable or easier to live with. You’re doing it with good intentions.

But it’s not always our job to “fix” people.

As it says in Ecclesiastes, “who can straighten what he has made crooked?”

I often think about this in terms of my toddler. He is very bossy. Like really bossy. And when things don’t go the way he has instructed, he has a meltdown.

Much of this is just toddlerhood but I can see his personality coming through too. Sometimes he gives his mama a run for her money!

Would I like to fix this? YES! But when I take a step back I realize it’s part of who he is. That’s how God made him. Instead of fixing him, I need to help him harness his “gift.”

He likes to know what’s happening and be in charge of things. He wants to make the rules (and change them along the way). These are good things, there’s nothing wrong with being a taskmaster. What I need to do is help him learn to adjust when things go awry. These are the skills he will need.

God creates seemingly “crooked” things, not so we can straighten them but so we can learn to see the beauty in them. Just like personality traits that may seem annoying but have great value.

I’m learning that I don’t need to change my toddler. God created him as he saw fit. It’s my job to help him learn about who he is and who God wants him to be. God needs me to teach him skills like patience and listening to instructions.

We need to pray when we feel the need to change someone. It is not us who does the changing, it is God. If we feel someone really does need to be changed, it is God who will do it. And if he needs us to help, we have to take his instruction on how to do it.

Trying to make people conform to our standards will never work. Instead, we should strive for God’s standard!

Consider the people you think need to be changed. Are there ways you can help them? Perhaps they need prayer? Or maybe it’s you who needs to be changed. God has a purpose and a plan for everyone, no matter how “crooked” they seem!