Words matter, but more than the words is the sentiment behind them. The glimpse at the heart, the deepest part of us that emerges in how we communicate with those around us. How do you tame your tongue when the craziness starts to engulf your senses and your words explode like a flaming dragon? Let’s look at 7 verses to meditate on to help remind us why we should use words like honey!
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Words linger in the air, they hold their bitter taste long after they’ve been said. Both for the speaker and the recipient.
In Christian spaces while we strive for peace and harmony, we know that there are times when our words don’t resemble or express what we want them to.
We want our children to know they are loved. We plan on speaking love to them but when they sit down at the table, they rhyme off all the reasons why they dislike the food you made.
Their words sting and your response is less than kind. But it’s in these moments that we need to stop and think about what we are going to say. Our children’s words can hurt us, their tone, their screaming, their nagging and complaining, it weighs us down but it is our job as a Christian mom to take these words and turn them around.
Instead of snapping back at our children, we need to come to them with words that will help build them up, change their perspective or expectations or perhaps fill them with love.
This isn’t always easy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, with every ounce in me, but I will admit that sometimes my words don’t sound like I do.
My temper gets the better of me and frustration bubbles over. My go-to response is often snippy and sarcastic. I’ve spent a lot of time praying about managing my tongue (and emotions behind my words). And these are the verses that have helped me tame my tongue, but I also use these scriptures when teaching my children about how to speak, because yes we need to explicitly teach our children what to say (more on that later!)
Tame your tongue with these 7 verses!
Verses to Help You Tame Your Tongue
Words matter, God has given us the wonderful gift of communication and like any gift, when used inappropriately it can cause devastation. Let your words build your home into a place of peace and comfort! Here are scriptures I like to use to grow my faith-filled space.
1. James 3:5-6
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
Starting things off with a bang, but what a good reminder that while our tongue may seem small and insignificant it has the power to destroy our lives in one swift stroke.
2. Proverbs 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
Taming your tongue will help keep you from getting yourself into sticky situations! And within your home it helps diffuse situations before they turn into something bigger than they need to be. Save yourself the calamity, tame your tongue!
3. Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I love this verse and often quote (or paraphrase) it to my kids. My son is a linguist. He’s always had a good vocabulary and like many kids, loves to talk.
Unfortunately when he gets grouchy or upset, his words are less than uplifting. And while it’s okay to express our feelings, constant negativity isn’t good for anyone!
I often remind him that we should be building people up with our words. And he should seek opportunities to let his words help those around him!
I know God has given him the gift of communication and it is a blessing and a curse. It is one of those areas where he needs guidance and instruction. Like any skill, he needs to refine it and this verse is one that is great to help teach him about using his words to not only express his needs but also seek ways to meet the needs of others as well.
4. Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
I worked in retail for a few years and I can safely say I had much better success with angry customers when I listened, acknowledged and offered a sentiment of understanding when they came to me with a problem.
Same in my teaching career.
And I see it with my children, unfortunately it seems harder as a parent to offer a gentle word when you’ve said the same thing 15 times already and your children still haven’t listened.
And while there is a time for raised voices and a tone of steel, the less we use it, the more effective it is when we need it. Instead, when we meet our children at their level and explain in gentle words, there is no room for them to wiggle out of the situation. There is no emotion to give them a rise, there is nothing to be angry at, they can try to squirm out of it but eventually they will calm down because you also have been calm!
5. James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
I know what you’re thinking (because I’m thinking it too) “That’s all well and good James, but some of us were born with a hot-head and it’s really hard not to get angry.” I’ll be honest, I am a little bit jealous of people who don’t get ruffled feathers over little things.
My frustration level always seems to run high and while I am good at listening, I’m also good at speaking before really considering my words. It’s something I need to practice, but I also am recognizing that sometimes my feelings are driving my response, and if I’m feeling tired or worn out, I have less patience.
When I know this, I take a step back or step away so I can collect myself because when we slow down and don’t jump into anger we typically will find the situation resolves itself much easier!
So if you’re like me, or you have a child who is driven by feelings use this verse to remind you (and them!) to tame your tongue. Before you speak take a minute to consider what you are going to say and slow down!
7. Psalm 141:3
Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Your words are a glimpse at your heart. They show who you are. And not just the words you say but how you say them, the emotion behind them speaks louder than the words themselves.
Ask God to keep a guard on your mouth, to help you speak words of truth but also words of comfort and encouragement!
This is also a good verse to pray over your bathroom – check out the blog post for scriptures to pray while cleaning HERE
8. Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
This is another great verse to keep tucked away to help tame your tongue in case you ever go back to adult conversations again (lol). How important is it that we are watchful and mindful of how we answer friends and strangers? With grace but also with salt, in other words (no pun intended) we should be speaking truth but in a way that does not tear people down.
Tame your tongue before you leave for the day, whether it’s to run errands, head to church or play group, pray this verse and ask God to season your words so people would know you are a person of virtue but also of grace. Your words would fill people with a sense of peace and calm but also an undeniable love for God.
Your Words Matter
Your words matter, and more than just the words is the feelings behind those words. The way in which we talk, the emotions and reactions will change the overall feeling of our homes and lives as a whole.
If we actively choose words of comfort, grace and gentleness we avoid calamity and destruction. We can tear our lives down with our words but we also can build it up, so choose words that are a strong foundation. Words of truth, of forgiveness and love.
Tame your tongue and let the Holy Spirit fill you with words that will allow you to grow your home of faith and build up your family to be people of God who seek to encourage and love others!
For additional scriptures check out these blog posts
Verses for Managing Defiant Behaviour
15 Scripture Verses for Motherhood
Verses for Your Children’s Space
Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home
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