Parenting is this part of your life where things you once thought were normal, no longer are and you embrace the craziness of child-rearing. If you are a parent, maybe you can relate to these weird things that become normal in parenthood!
Weird Things That Become Normal in Parenthood
It’s weird but its true. Parenting changes the way you think about things because the abnormal becomes normal! Some of these may spark frustration but hopefully you can laugh at the inconvenient and messy moments that are now your normal!
1. Intimate knowledge of the snack aisle in the grocery store
Your kids need their favourite snack. To the grocery store, you go. This isn’t your first rodeo, you know precisely where the brand, variety and size are located in the aisle. You know how much it costs and how long it will last in your cupboard.
Heaven forbid the grocery store change the layout or price of the product because you don’t have time for that. You are a parent on a mission. An important snack mission that must not be thwarted.
2. Ability to see into the future (but only 10 seconds into the future)
Your kid insists they can do the juice box by themselves. In your mind’s eye you can see their iron grip (one that would rival Thor) on the juice box, spraying the sugary liquid all over themselves. Will you have time to stop them? Likely not. But at least you know it’s going to happen.
Most parents develop this not so useful skill. They can foresee just far enough into the future to know a disaster is coming but not far enough to do anything about it. Frustrating, isn’t it? That’s parenting.
3. Knowing your children’s wardrobe better than your own
You probably have favourite outfits for each kid. Maybe they’re cute or funny but more than likely they don’t cause arguments when kids put them on. Or you choose the PJ’s that are super stretchy so you don’t have to squeeze your toddler’s arm into a hole that’s shrunk to the size of a cheerio.
And if your kid is in the 0-12m range you want the clothes that go on easy and come off easy. No one has time to mess with 15 snaps. You’re probably changing 10 diapers a day so if your outfit of choice has zippers, we understand.
4. Talking about poop
Colour, frequency, smell, how many wipes you used to clean it up…it’s all a common topic amongst parents. You likely will discuss it with your spouse multiple times a day in the first few months. Pretty soon it becomes “you smelt it, you deal(t) with it.” It stinks, literally but this is now a normal part of parenting.
5. Waking up with a kid’s song stuck in your head
In fact if you don’t wake up singing Blippi or Bluey or some other random song, do you even have kids?
Gone are the days when you sing your favourite tune from the radio. Your playlists consist of “The Wheels on the Bus” and “Baby Shark.” Which means the song running through your head is completely kid appropriate and likely educational.
6. Your multi-tasking abilities are phenomenal
Having kids means you develop these amazing skills. Things like stirring a pot, rocking the baby chair with your foot and explaining to your toddler how to put their toy together. Or holding a baby on your hip, carrying 3 bags of groceries while simultaneously steering your rogue toddler through the parking lot. Or to top those, you can nurse a baby on the bathroom floor and mentally plan the supper meal while reading your toddler a book as they sit on the potty trying to poop.
It’s next level multitasking and it’s called parenting.
7. Leaving the bathroom door open for everything
If your spouse is not home or actively watching the kids then you never close the bathroom door. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing, you need to be able to hear all noises (or unsettling silence) at all times.
It also makes it easier to stick your head out of the shower to ensure the dog is barking at your neighbours walking by and not the toddler trying to dress him in a towel.
8. Finding creative uses for everyday items to keep kids entertained
Measuring cups make great scoops. Pots become drums. Your sock is a puppet. The recycling boxes are blocks. Suddenly you are a creative and resourceful human being who can find fun in random items. A great skill you will never use again.
9. You know exactly how long your washing machine takes
You probably have a favourite cycle too. The reliable one that doesn’t take too long but still gets the baby spit up out of clothes. You know that cycle down to the last second based on the load size, the dirt needed to be washed out and how much soap you put in. You run the thing daily, sometimes twice a day so you should be an expert by now.
10. It takes 5 days to reply to messages
This is weird and possibly a little sad but somehow those text messages go unanswered. Not because you don’t like the person but because you have no brain power left to type a response. You feel the person on the other end deserves more than just “ok” or “lol” but can’t find the time to formulate more than that.
So you spend 5 days summoning an answer and if they are a parent they take 5 days to reply. So your conversation lags like your Netflix when the internet is slow.
Parenting Isn’t For the Faint of Heart
What resonated with you? Your life has probably changed drastically since you introduced a new human into your family. Hopefully you are enjoying the ride!
Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s messy, surprising and full of the unexpected. It’s totally worth it though!
This is parenthood, it won’t last long so laugh about it while you can!
Let’s be social. Here’s where you can find me!
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