• WordPress
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Pinterest

Do you get frustrated with yourself when some days you can’t seem to keep it together? You feel like to drop the ball on every little task and wonder if you are cut out for adulthood, let alone motherhood (or any other “hood” that might come your way)? Here is my simple method for creating realistic expectations for yourself so you don’t find yourself feeling overwhelmed by simple tasks!

Let’s be real. Sometimes you conquer the world and sometimes you put the milk back in the cupboard. It doesn’t have anything to do with your capabilities but rather your mindset, and focus. Having a simple method to set realistic expectations for yourself will help you feel accomplished in a day but also give you grace on the days when you fall short!

God Created Women

God created women to be incredibly capable. When we consider growing a human inside of us, birthing them, caring for them, raising them and doing all the other things at the same time, it is a true miracle.

It can be frustrating though when some days our minds and bodies don’t seem to be able to communicate and we can’t do the things that need done. We have a to-do list as long as our arm and we can barely get the bed made.

I’ve come to realize, that we set expectations for ourselves that maybe aren’t realistic. Or they aren’t realistic for the day we are setting them for. God made women a specific way, and I believe it is so we get to know God in different capacities.

We have a monthly cycle that affects more than just one week out of the month. Our hormones play into how we feel almost everyday. We need to have a mindset that allows us to get things done but also not feel guilty for the days when we are tired.

I see God in different ways as my abilities change during the month. And because of this, also see myself differently. I see when I will be more capable and when I will need to rest.

So, I’ve come up with my own method of creating expectations for myself that helps me accept God’s grace for falling short, but also give thanksgivings when I am able to do more.

I call it the 100-70-30 mindset for realistic expectations.

100-70-30 Mindset for Realistic Expectations

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:13-14

After my second son was born, I started tracking my monthly cycle very closely. I was dealing with some physical and emotional struggles and I wondered if they were hormone related. Through this tracking, I realized there was a pattern of behaviour.

There were times of the month when I was superwoman. I could back the truck perfectly into a parking spot, push the 150lb shopping cart, remember every last grocery item we needed, haul it all to and from the truck, make lunch, take the boys to the park, make supper, put them to bed and feel fantastic!

Then there were days when I did one load of laundry, we stayed in the backyard, had grilled cheese for supper and I barely made it to bedtime without falling asleep.

I started to see that sometimes I had expectations that were unrealistic for what my body was capable of. Perhaps you’ve felt this too. When there are things you know you can do, and yet somehow you just can’t seem to do them.

I call these, the 30% days. It’s when you are operating, but not at a high level. Maybe you didn’t sleep well, maybe your kids are in a grouchy mood, maybe your back is sore…whatever it is, you are only going to get 30% of your stuff done. And you know what, that’s okay!

The days when you feel like a superwoman, are the 100% days. When everything falls into place, you are strong and capable, nothing will slow you down.

Most of the month though, you likely will be in the 70% range. You can do just about everything, feel good about the day and can sit down without collapsing. This is going to be your “normal.”

Expectations for 100% Days

On the days when you feel 100%, you can set higher expectations for yourself. These are the days when you are going to plan the outings, make the big meal with plenty of leftovers, do multiple loads of laundry or manage jobs that you have been putting off.

If you are tracking your cycle you might notice these days happen around the same time every month, so you may be able to plan accordingly. Although not always. God created women to be a great mystery so we don’t always know what our bodies are going to do.

You may wake up and feel fantastic, so you will praise God and then plan to do extra things.

These are the days you will spend worshipping and praising God more often. You will be reminded of His goodness through the things you are able to get done. You will offer thanksgiving for the energy and strength to feel accomplished in your tasks.

Expectations for 70% Days

On your average day, it’s okay to expect 70% from yourself. Maybe a little more or little less depending on what is going on, but this means you aim to do 70% of your tasks. It’s okay to give yourself some grace to leave some jobs unfinished.

Maybe you wash and dry the laundry but leave it in the hamper to be folded another day. Maybe you change the bed sheets but leave the dirty ones to wash another day. Maybe you make a healthy supper meal but don’t make leftovers for another meal.

These are all examples of activities that can be left unfinished without feeling guilty about it.

These are the days when you are going to ask for God’s wisdom and plans. When you steep in His word and seek his face. These are the days when God becomes part of your daily routine because He is the constant in your life and you learn how to rely on Him.

Expectations for 30% Days

The days when you are tired, in pain or feeling “blah,” plan for a 30% day. This means your families basic needs will be met, if laundry must be done so no one goes without underwear, so be it. Your kids will eat, it might be chicken fingers but they are being served food. You might only make it to the backyard for outside time and there may be a few extra minutes of screen time.

Whatever it is, you know what these days feel like and it is okay to seek rest on these days. It’s also okay to expect these days, maybe plan for them so you don’t spend the day worrying about what you haven’t gotten done.

These are the days you are going to lean into God a little more. You are going to hand the extra burdens to Him and let Him carry the weight that you just can’t deal. These are the days God is giving you for rest.

Applying the 100-70-30 to Your Week

I like to look at things in terms of a week. This also helps in making tasks seem less daunting if they are spread out over a few days.

If you expect 100% over 2 or 3 days, then you absolutely will get everything done. Having 70% on Monday and 30% on Tuesday means by Wednesday you will have completed your list. It’s okay to move things around and change things. If only half a job gets done, do the other half another day. Plan for rest days! Plan for days when you might not be able to do even 70%, that’s okay!

See the example below for how this looks:

Free Planning Sheets

The Praise God Always Mindset

Now of course, every person is different. And our lives are unique, with our own sets of anxieties, children to raise and Christian homes to build. But I have found that reminding ourselves that we can’t be at 100% all the time helps to feel less like a failure and more like a child of God.

It also helps to get things done. If we head into a day knowing that we might only get 70 or 80% of the stuff done, we lower our standard for what we expect of ourselves. And this is what allows us that breathing room so we don’t feel like we are drowning.

It’s important to remember that God wants us to rest. He wants us to take a break. He himself took a break when He made the world. I believe He invites women to do the same by forcing us to slow down, because He knows we will try to operate at 100% all day everyday.

Praise Him when you are feeling good and praise Him when you need rest. He loves you on all the days, regardless of how you feel and wants you to be healthy so you can build a strong Christian home. Set those realistic expectations for yourself, give yourself the mindset of 100-70-30 and accept God’s strength for the things you can change and His grace for the things you can’t change!