It seems in today’s society that the motherhood expectations have increased. The full time child-rearing job has grown, without additional help. And yet they say it takes a village to raise a child. This is true, except what do you do if your village isn’t readily available to help?
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“Where is my village?”
I heard a mom ask this once in conversation about being a stay-at-home Mom with a toddler and a difficult pregnancy. And it resonated with me.
As a mom, we juggle our household duties, kids, activities and for some, jobs! Sometimes we are fortunate enough to have family close by to help out but sometimes we do these things alone.
And wow is it exhausting! Meeting the needs of tiny humans isn’t easy. 12 hours a day, 7 days a week pushes your endurance to the next level.
It Takes a Village…
We’re told our kids need to meet certain milestones, eat certain foods, and sleep at certain intervals. We mentally track how much screen time they’ve had and wonder if an extra minute will turn their brains to mush while we sip that last ounce of coffee and enjoy the somewhat quiet room.
The experts have all the answers, except how to raise your specific child and manage everything else in the day without having a meltdown. They like to tell moms to take a break, to take time for themselves and yet how is that possible if you are the default parent all the time?
You see, it doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes a village for a mom to raise her child. Moms need to have support so they can do all the motherhood things they know how to do!
This is the hard part when you don’t have the village to help you in raising your children.
What Do You Do When You Don’t Have a Village?
I have a village of support, but it isn’t necessarily close. Most of my family lives an hour or more away. I am fortunate enough to have them for emergencies, and goodness knows I’ve needed them in dire situations but for everyday life, I manage things on my own.
Because we moved around so much, I still don’t have a solid church family or friend group. I am an introvert by nature so I am usually content to do my own thing with my kids but it has gotten draining as my highly extroverted oldest needs to talk to people as long as his eyes are open and not watching a screen (which I heavily limit).
So what do moms who don’t have a readily available village to help them?
1. Take Time With God
This is the village moms have; God is the village. And while He may not be able to fold the laundry or do the meal planning, it is He who gives moms the strength to do these things.
It means handing God all of our worries and anxieties in the day and pouring love into our children. But we have to connect with God first.
God Is Your Village
It’s okay to take a break so you can connect with God to learn His plan for your children. It is much easier to raise children when you have God steering the ship. And you don’t feel so alone when you have consciously invited Him into the chaos and asked that He bring the peace!
He is the calm we need and strength for those hard days. When we rely on Him, just as Psalm 34 tells us to, we can take comfort from Him and entrust our children into His care.
God is your village!
If you’re struggling to find ways to spend time with God during your busy days, check out my post “You Still Can Spend Time with God When You Are Busy!”
Scriptures to Remind You that God is Your Village
Encouraging scriptures to remind you that you are never alone, you can find your village with God!
- Psalm 34:4
- 1 Peter 5:7
- 2 Corinthians 12:9
- Philippians 4:13
- Romans 8:28
- Exodus 14:14
- Isaiah 43:1
2. Create a Village With Who You Have
When possible, create your village. I say this and know I struggle with it (again, hello introvert!) but it is important. Find the mommy groups, go to church and enrol your kids in activities. For those who are naturally extroverted, this might seem like a no-brainer, but for those of us who are happy to live in our little family bubble, it can be daunting.
But to have a village means giving your children the opportunity to learn and grow from others. Kids need this. As Christians we benefit from meeting with other Christians as a way to encourage and learn from one another. Your children are no different as they learn and grow about who they are and their relationship with God.
I strongly believe this is why God wanted His people to create a community of believers, otherwise known as a church. You don’t have to go to church to be a Christian, but the benefit of having a church community is having people who can help you (and by extension your family) in your walk of faith!
Your social butterflies thrive on connection with people and your shy bunnies need to learn how to interact with more than just their family. I have a social butterfly and a shy bunny in my home so I see how both of them need a village that extends beyond our house!
3. Establish Routines in Your Home
Kids thrive on routine. Some more than others. But it’s also good for you to have a routine for your week that gives you a chance to take a break.
Your routine will change depending on the ages of your children. You may be “nap trapped” for a while, which means planning things around the sleep schedules. But choose times in the day when you know your kids can be quiet or independent to take some time for yourself.
And choose times when you know they will be helpful in terms of daily chores. Two-year-old’s are adept at putting away laundry (with help) and your four-year-old can help set the table.
Also include Bible stories in your day when possible. I don’t like “scheduling” in God, but prefer to talk about Him as we talk about anything else, but setting up a Bible study time for your kids isn’t a bad idea! Let everyone sit down with their Bible together to read or colour or listen to Christian podcasts.
Keep yourself organized and encouraged with these printable planning pages and devotional! Available on Etsy.
Raising Children For God
God is your village whether you have one or not!
Raising children isn’t easy. It’s even more difficult when you don’t have people surrounding you regularly to help. That doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. God will always be with you, and His strength is sufficient even on our weakest days.
It takes a village but even when your village isn’t readily available, you can raise children for God in a Christian home built on His love, joy and peace!
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