Are you seeking identity in motherhood? Trying to find ways to define yourself? Do you use descriptors of the world or are you seeking the identity of God?

Let’s look at a story from John 5:2-9 about a man who was healed by Jesus.

There was a pool where the sick would sit, waiting for the time to get into the water to be healed. A man who was crippled for 38 years had been sitting there waiting his turn to get into the water, never reaching the pool in time to get in and heal his ailment.

Until one day Jesus called to him, asking if he wanted to be healed. To which he replied “yes!” So Jesus told him to pick up his bed and walk.

The man got up and walked away, healed after 38 years of staring into the pool that was supposed to be his remedy.

What Pool Are You Sitting Beside?

The man likely identified himself as a cripple. He spent the majority of his life sitting in a place, waiting for the time when he could be healed. 38 years of waiting, hoping, reaching towards the waters that had been promised to be his miracle saviour.

But was this all his life was meant for? Was his identity meant to be wrapped in the fact that he was crippled?

It makes us ask ourselves “What pool are you sitting beside?”

What is the miracle the world is trying to sell that will solve all your problems and make you whole again? What identity in motherhood are we trying to achieve?

How Do You Identify Yourself – Identity in Motherhood

First we need to ask ourselves “Who am I?”

What are some words we use to describe who you are.

Mom? Wife? Artist? Teacher? Nurse? Cook? Homemaker?

You know the things that describe you, positive things that bring joy to your life.

But there are other things that attach themselves to your personality and sometimes take over your life.

Anxiety. Physical limitations. Lost opportunities. Organized chaos. Mistakes.

Sometimes these descriptions start to take on our identity. Our identity in motherhood is… mom, just mom with a side of anxiety, lost opportunities and a pile of laundry.

We sit at the pool the world has promised will make us feel better and wait for the day when we can climb in, miraculously healed of our difficulties, stressors and irritations.

But is this who we really are? Is this where our focus should be? Is this our identity?

Who Does God Say You Are?

I’ve felt this, deep in my core. Motherhood brought me an abundance of joy. I always said my heart grew 2 sizes the days my boys were born. I have grown as an individual and changed in so many ways.

But I also lost many things. Like most moms, I gave up important details of myself because I had little ones to focus on.

And in the chaos of my motherhood journey, my little family made life changes that meant I gave up even more.

Just when things started to settle down and I felt like maybe I could get back into a world I used to enjoy, my horse died unexpectedly, ending yet another dream and part of who I had been.

I found myself at that pool, looking into the water trying to determine who I was. And more importantly, who was I going to be now that my kids were getting older and my role as mom was changing. My identity in motherhood was not what it once was.

In a world that wants to define you by your actions, turn to God and be defined by His action of love

What I realized was I was tying my identity to the attributes the world uses. These were not the first things God would use to describe me.

God would call me loved, redeemed, forgiven, His child, a daughter of the king, worthy.

So I started to use these words when I felt frustrated in my role. As I tried to put pieces together and recreate my identity I would ask myself…how do you identify yourself Alyssa? And I would firmly respond, I am a child of God.

Seeking the Identity of God in a World Full of Distractions

What I am learning as a mom, is that the world is a distraction. It has good distractions, activities, hobbies, spouses and children, these are the parts that make our lives joyful but if we get caught up in letting these good things define us, we risk losing our identity altogether.

Because activities end, hobbies change, spouses grow old and children grow up. Our identity can’t be tied to things that could change or worse yet, things that make us worth less than we are.

Don’t Define Yourself By The World’s Standards

If we sit at the pool and tell ourselves we are a cripple who will only be healed by the water we wait for, that is all we will ever be.

If you tell yourself your purpose is only to be a mom, or a nurse or a Sunday School teacher, that is all you will ever be. You pigeon hole yourself into an identity that is not God-created.

Instead you need to ask who God made you to be. What is the identity God has for you?

If you seek Jesus, if you turn your eyes away from the descriptions of the world, reject the broken promises people make about solutions, you will find your true identity.

Your identity in motherhood is not in fact “mom.” This is a piece of who you are but the greater piece, the part that is holding everything together securely is that you are a child of God. That fact does not change. It cannot be removed or tarnished.

When you feel unworthy, when you wonder if there is more to your day than wiping kitchen counters and reading stories, remind yourself that there is. These difficult days will flow into short years when your life will change but your identity in Christ will not.

So don’t identify yourself in motherhood as mom, identify yourself as the child God made you to be, forgiven, worthy and loved by one who is greater than any other descriptor the world could ever use.

On the days when you are afraid the chaos will consume you, when you are afraid you aren’t good enough and you find yourself searching for something to make your life a little easier, let your eyes fall on Jesus. He is calling to you, asking if you want what He has.

And what does He have? He has your identity in motherhood right in the palm of His hand, it’s the love He gave and the blood He shed so you could live as a daughter of the king. Worthy, forgiven and loved.

For more encouragement about motherhood read my post “The Motherhood Moment You Were Created For Is Now” or “A Gentle Reminder of God’s Leading“