What do moms want for Mother’s Day? It might not be what you expect! Sometimes feeling appreciated, validated and given a chance to recharge is all they need to make them feel loved!
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I wish I had known this when I was a kid or teenager and helped my mom out more because what Moms really want…or need for Mother’s Day isn’t necessarily flowers!
I’ll be honest, when I became a mom I didn’t know what I wanted for Mother’s Day. On my first Mother’s Day I did want to spend time with my husband and son. I wanted to treasure them and the time we had together, I was excited to be a mom on Mother’s Day!
By the time I got to my fourth Mother’s Day, with baby number 2, all I wanted was to not be a mom for a day.
This made me feel incredibly guilty because I loved being a mom but I felt so tired and so burnt out. As I recall I ended up being sick and my husband was working so it was worse than any normal day and I had to completely forget about the fact that moms should enjoy it.
So then I felt guilty, burnt out and annoyed, all at the same time.
I took some time to think reflect on it and tried to think of what I really wanted and how I could articulate this to my husband.
What Moms Really Want (and Need)
I do enjoy getting gifts, I’m not much of a flower gal but buy me some nice coffee and I’ll love you forever (lol). But as a Mom, I don’t need any more things. I don’t have space for stuff and the things I do need cost more than I would want to be spent on me for Mother’s Day.
I think a lot of moms feel this way. Gifts are lovely but it isn’t necessarily what we want or need.
What moms need aren’t necessarily physical items. Here are the top three non-things that can take Mother’s Day from good to great for the mom in your life!
To Be Appreciated
Moms do a lot of work that goes unnoticed. In fact you are more likely to notice if she doesn’t do her job!
A mom is like the defence man of a hockey team. If they do their job right you don’t notice them, if they do it wrong, everyone sees. You’ll notice a dirty bathroom or dog fluffs rolling around the floor but you likely don’t see the sparkly sink or dishes that are put back in their right places.
Moms aren’t doing their jobs of cooking, cleaning and kissing boo-boos because they want praise. They do it because they love their families! They take pride in having a home that is semi-clean and children who feel loved. It’s what every mom wants for her family.
That doesn’t mean that a little note or word of thanks isn’t appreciated!
This can come in the form of hand-made cards from children or an honest, appreciative hug from a spouse. But the time that is taken to say thank you is not lost on Moms. When they see you take a minute out of their day (or several minutes to prepare something for Mother’s Day), they are touched.
When someone stops them mid-task and says “I see you, I see how hard you work and I love you for it,” it might bring tears to her eyes. Knowing that someone sees what she does and is thankful makes her tedious job just a little bit easier.
Let Moms know that you see what they are doing and you love them for it!
Make her feel appreciated. Let her know how thankful you are for everything that she does! She has cleaned the same sink more times than she can count and has wiped more poopy bums than she cares to admit and those dirty jobs need to be appreciated!
To Care for Their Own Needs and Wants
I’m not talking about self-care. This is a chance for moms to feel validated in their personal needs or wants. The small things that we have deemed “unnecessary” but at one time were a regular occurrence or purchase.
So often moms see something they would like to do or have but don’t make the purchase or take the time because their children are in need. We don’t buy ourselves the special treat because we want our kids to have something nice or feel the money is better spent elsewhere. We don’t take the extra 20 or 30 minutes to trim our nails, shave our legs and pluck our eyebrows because our one-year-old has decided He is going to do parkour in his brother’s room.
Relieve the guilt moms feel by encouraging them to treat themselves, whether in a purchase or time alone to complete something!
Hand mom $20 with no strings attached and tell her she HAS to spend the entire amount on herself. Pay attention to what she is purchasing. The small things that she maybe hasn’t bought in a while or has been wanting but didn’t want to spend the cash on it.
For myself, it’s the pricier coffee, lipstick (I haven’t bought new lipstick in 7 years) or a new planner.
This isn’t to say that moms shouldn’t be allowed to buy herself something nice the rest of the year! But giving moms the chance to not feel guilty about spending time and money on herself goes a long way.
Lift the Mental Load
This is hard to understand unless you are a mom. But the mental load is beyond taxing.
Helping children choose an outfit. Make breakfast while ensuring your kids aren’t practicing wrestle mania in the living room. Deciding who’s laundry needs done that day. Planning the day…the activities, lunch meal, nap times, groceries, outdoor time, dinner meal and every other little minute in between.
And that doesn’t even include her personal needs of showering, eating, doing dishes, replying to emails and just sitting down for a minute to rest her tired back!
Moms want a day (or half a day) off from making decisions for everyone. They don’t want to plan their own Mother’s Day. They still want to be a mom, just not mom-in-charge.
Moms love their jobs but sometimes they want to be a passenger instead of driving the motherhood bus.
This might mean taking kids out of the house so mom can rest her weary mind. Or if money allows, let her spend the night in a hotel or just spend an afternoon out by herself.
Lifting the mental load for a day can make a huge difference for moms. Especially if they have young kids at home who require full-time attention and/or supervision. Motherhood burnout is something moms face every day and having a chance to step back from the full-time role, even just for an afternoon can make a world of difference!
Other Gift Ideas that Moms Really Want
Some tangible gift ideas of things moms really want!
Want some tangible items that moms want for Mother’s Day? Check out these items:
- “Consider the Wildflowers” devotional and doodle book by yours truly (me!)
- “Gifts and Gratitudes” guided journal by Ann Voskamp
- “Grateful & Blessed” Mugs
- “All of My Days” CD by Ellie Holcomb
- “Waymaker” Sweatshirt
- Bar Shampoo Sampler Set by Kitsch
- Single Serve Ice Cream Maker
- Cute Headbands
- Scripture Cards
Make Her Mother’s Day Memorable
Moms are special people, whether you are actively mommying or you have been promoted to Grandparent status, it’s important to take time to remember the great job you are doing. And it’s important for the people around you to take notice of the job you are doing!
So share the love! Tell a mom friend that she’s doing fantastic, send a card to your sister or aunt or whoever and let them know they are appreciated. Tell your own mom how much you love her and are thankful for the hard work she put in!
What moms really want is to feel loved by those they love the most.
If you want to pass along more encouragement, check out some of my scripture cards available in my Etsy store. Give mom the gift of constant encouragement as she puts cards in her kitchen window, on her fridge or in her Bible.
And as for yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for a break for Mother’s Day. What moms want, or need, is to be a mom without all the strings attached. Without feeling guilty about taking a moment for herself, or letting someone else take care of her kids.
Remember God rested from His work so moms can rest from theirs!
You can love being a mom and still take some time to recharge. You can love being a mom and let someone else handle all the little decisions in a day. You can love being a mom and take time with God so He can fill you with His peace and joy!
What moms really want for Mother’s Day (or any other day you want to make her feel appreciated) doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy. Let her know how much you care about the work she does and give her a chance to recharge.
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