A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Proverbs 15:4

I’m sure you’ve heard this proverb, perhaps in various forms. It’s very common. And yet sometimes it’s so easy to forget, especially as a mom.

Kids are tough, no one doubts that. They do things they shouldn’t, they ask hundreds of questions and they make messes. Mostly they are just learning and everything is done in the spirit of curiosity. But when patience has run out it can be incredibly hard to stay calm and maintain a gentle tongue.

It’s important to remember that anger and frustration are normal emotions. Parents experience burnout, just like in any job. This can make things even more difficult. God still asks that we take a deep breath and really think about what we are saying.

Gentle words will go further than something said in anger.

I sometimes struggle with it, even though I know my toddler is more responsive when I calmly explain things to him. Or if he’s being reprimanded, firm but gentle words are more effective at getting through to him.

Building kids up is what we are striving for. Every situation is an opportunity to learn and it’s hard to learn when someone is yelling at us! Reminding ourselves to speak gentle words to our kids is important.

As a parent we still need to reprimand from time to time but what we say and how we say it changes how it is received. When we think about our words like a tree of life, giving our kids what they need to grow, we are reminded that we want to “water” them with the right words!

We should offer gentle words all day, everyday! Telling our children how much we love them, how amazing they are and how much God loves them.

We don’t have to stop at our kids either. Gentle words should be extended towards our spouse, our extended family and our friends! God wants us to build each other up, in every situation.

So consider your words to whoever you are speaking to. When talking to your children remember that there is always opportunity for growth, even in a situation that requires some, redirection. Use gentle words that kids can learn from and watch them grow!