Letting go of comparison is easier said than done. It’s natural to look at your neighbour, to see what they are doing and wonder how you measure up to them. We want to be better or the best at something. But comparison really is the thief of joy. Here is how to let go of it.

Comparison is easier now that we have access to things like social media and the internet. It’s easy to scroll and scroll and scroll and fall into the trap of subconscious comparison.

Especially in motherhood, because there is so much information out there, we start to wonder if what we’re doing is enough, if we are enough. We compare our journey to others and suddenly we aren’t trying to be a mom after God’s heart. We are trying to be a mom that the world deems acceptable.

Letting Go of Comparison

Here are some ways you can start letting go of comparison in motherhood and focus on being the mom God wants you to be.

Recognize Where Comparison Starts

Take a step back and consider the moments when you compare yourself to others.

Is it while on social media? Is it in the foyer at church? Is it in the pickup line at school? Is it at family gatherings?

These are all places where we may see other moms with their kids and start to measure ourselves up to them.

The thing is, these “highlight” reels we are watching are only a glimpse into someone’s life. We know our insecurities but can’t see theirs. This skews what we see.

Instead we need to walk into those situations wearing the lens of discernment. Knowing we may fall into the trap can help us from stumbling.

It also might mean removing the app from your phone or praying before you step into a situation and surrender those thoughts to Him ahead of time. Sometimes letting go of a situation is the only way to prevent it from becoming detrimental.

Letting go of comparison starts with acknowledging where we are weak and asking God to help us in those moments.

You Were designed on Purpose

This is one of the most important things to remember when you find yourself comparing your life to someone else

God designed you on purpose. He didn’t design you to be like anyone else. He doesn’t want that life for you.

He gave you your children, your life, your family for a reason. And even if this season is difficult, it doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong.

God’s purpose can’t be fully seen if you are always looking over your fence into someone else’s yard. You’ll miss all the wonderful pieces of your life if you’re constantly looking into someone else’s.

Letting go of comparison is putting blinders on, it’s focusing on the good things God has given you and His purpose for your life.

Your Kids Are Not Her Kids

Much like how you were designed on purpose, your kids were designed on purpose. Your children are your own. They are a gift.

They may not come with instructions, but you can’t compare what God gave you to what God gave someone else. He knows what you need, and maybe it’s wrapped up in a child that stretches you to your limits.

Because maybe God wants you to go past what you can handle, so you learn to give it back to Him.

Maybe God wants you to have a deeper understanding of what someone else is experiencing, without turning to comparison.

Maybe God has a plan for that child and you are the one molding them into the person God needs them to be.

Your kids are your own. Don’t compare their lives to someone else’s.

Letting go of comparison means trusting God with the gifts He has given you.

Different Seasons, Different Callings

It’s okay if you don’t like the season you are in. You can love your kids and not love everything that’s happening at that time.

We have different seasons in our life but can take comfort in knowing God doesn’t change.

The hard seasons shouldn’t make us turn to comparison. We shouldn’t wish for something easier or better. It should make us turn to God. To seek His strength and wisdom in the trying times.

I remember thinking this during the baby years of my second son. Every holiday was a disaster. Exhaustion, a fussy baby, a snowstorm that caused a leaking bathroom fan, illness…every holiday that came up, something came with it.

What I didn’t know at the time, but wish I did, was I had an expectation for each holiday. And when that expectation fell through, I thought everything was ruined. When in reality, I needed to accept what I had at that time; a growing family that was celebrating together.

Letting go of comparison means letting go of expectations. It’s accepting what is in front of you and asking God to direct your steps through it.

Replace Envy with Celebration

When you start to feel envious of others, turn to gratefulness instead. Celebrate God and the gifts He has given you.

This season of life, it may not be perfect but it is good. There are going to be difficult days but those are the days when grace is extended.

Something I’ve come to learn is that grace is a far better thing than perfection.

Social media can pretend that motherhood is supposed to look a certain way but grace tells me something else.

God’s grace tells me to let go of expectations and accept His plan. It’s sometimes seems messy but it’s a beautiful mess that always leaves a masterpiece.

Be the Mom God Gave to Your Kids

Letting go of comparison is being the mom God gave to your kids.

Yes, that’s right, you are a gift to your family too. God knows your struggles and He cares about you. But it’s hard to cast your burdens on the Lord when you have your eyes on someone else’s prize.

God has good things for you, keep your focus on Him and what He has for you. Not what is beyond the fence line or on someone social media.

Comparison steals joy. It makes us think we are unworthy or aren’t trying hard enough. Instead listen to God’s whisper of:

You are worthy. You are chosen. You are mine.

Believe the truths God has spoken. Replay them in your head whenever you feel inadequate or find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s.

Want a space to unwind and draw closer to God? I wrote a devotional specifically for moms where they can doodle, read God’s word and be reminded of His love for them. Grab a copy for yourself and a friend. Consider the Wildflowers is available on Amazon.