Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

“What do you say when you hurt someone?” This is a phrase I often find myself repeating to my toddler. Not because he is always doing something wrong but because he is learning when and how to say “sorry.”

It’s a small step in learning empathy and how to recognize when he’s done something wrong. It’s part of accepting consequences (last week’s devotional) and then apologizing.

The other half of this equation is forgiving. As a parent, I have to forgive. I don’t hold it against my toddler when he does something wrong. Sometimes I’m frustrated but I always forgive him.

I understand he is learning. He does things without thinking and falls into toddler temptations. I have to expect mistakes and be ready to offer forgiveness.

Where did we as humans learn to forgive? From the great forgiver, God! We forgive because he first forgave us. He sacrificed his son so we wouldn’t have to face condemnation. It’s amazing to think that all of our infractions will be forgiven now.

Of course, this means we need to show God’s love by forgiving others.

It can be hard to forgive though. Forgiving a toddler is one thing, forgiving an older person is something else. Especially if we are badly hurt by someone. A physical, mental or emotional injury can take years to heal. So it would seem easier to hold a grudge or be bitter about the situation than to forgive.

In other words, if someone did us wrong they don’t deserve our forgiveness.

But forgiveness isn’t about deserving. If God based his forgiveness on who deserved it, no one would receive it. He loved us so much that he sent Jesus to die so we all could be forgiven. No questionnaire to fill out, no jury, and no essay explaining why we should be forgiven. He gives it unquestionably.

How could we possibly hold back forgiveness after he made the ultimate sacrifice?

I don’t hold back forgiveness from my toddler (even after he disobeys specific instructions) because I love him! Love conquers all and is what allows us to forgive.

We don’t love the world the same way God loves us but with prayer, we can ask God to help us forgive. Forgiveness comes from the heart and sometimes that means we need to lean into God to heal our hearts. He can help us forgive when our human capabilities fail us. Remember, he is the great forgiver!

If you’re struggling to forgive someone, take it to God. Pray about it, ask God to change your heart and help you heal. Holding a grudge doesn’t help anyone. Peace comes when we forgive.

So just as God offers his forgiveness, pass it on! Show his love and share in forgiving.