Have you heard the term “let them be bored?” It’s an idea you might want to try with your kids! Here are some ways to get started.
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“I’m bored.”
Perhaps you’re familiar with this phrase, usually said in a whiny voice with accompanying body wiggling. It’s one of the most frustrating things to hear as a parent, because it’s usually said when you are neck deep in something that requires full concentration.
Not only that but kids should be able to entertain themselves, or at least not flaunt it in your face that they have nothing to do.
All that being said, I do remember being bored as a kid and saying it to my mom. I didn’t do it often because she usually found something for me to do and it definitely wasn’t fun! But there is something about allowing kids to be bored.
Parents are not cruise ship directors or camp counsellors. We do not have to put on a show and dance or have some exciting activity planned everyday. It’s okay for kids to be bored every once in a while, it encourages creativity!
I don’t know who needs to hear this but, let them be bored! It’s okay for your children to use their imaginations every once in a while!
Let Them Slow Down
Today’s society goes at the speed of light. Literally. We have “lightning speed” internet, videos that play one after another and no lag time between events.
Kids are programmed to be entertained all the time, but that isn’t how God intended them to be.
Unfortunately this sort of programming doesn’t help them develop problem solving skills or creativity, not to mention critical thinking skills and imagination! If your mind is always being filled with something, when will it have time to process and think about things?
We often start kids on the right path, encouraging “independent play” with babies and toddlers. We ask them to sit for a few minutes while we prepare a meal or finish a task. We may even start to build it into their daily routine so they get in the habit of it. Are they bored? Not necessarily. There are always toys or books to play with, or we pull out something new for them to explore. But we are asking them to entertain themselves, without anyone or anything’s help.
The same should go for older kids. Asking them to entertain themselves, without the use of electronics is a good skill to have. Many kids turn to TV, video games, iPads etc as a means of fulfilling their feeling of boredom. And at times there is nothing wrong with this. The issue is when it happens too often and then if it isn’t available, they have no idea what to do with themselves.
Biblical Perspective
I always turn to the Bible because it helps us raise our children.
Obviously the Bible doesn’t mention TV or screen time but it does warn of the dangers of filling our minds with things that are not good. It is made clear we need to make healthy choices if we are to lead Christian lives.
Media is a powerful tool both for learning and entertainment but when used too often it will teach children to reach for the remote instead of the Bible.
For more on managing screens in your home, please please please read either my post on teaching your family Christian Media Literacy or Should Christians Watch Disney.
The Bible also speaks of joy and filling our lives with things that are pleasing to God. We know God wants our children to grow up to be creative, resourceful and productive, they learn this through playing at home!
Let Them Be Bored!
Of course we aren’t going to put kids in an empty room with only a Bible and ask them to stare at the wall or read. But if they are in a houseful of activities, it’s okay for them to be “bored.” It’s okay for them to find something constructive to do. It may take some coaching and encouragement at first but once they learn how to bust the boredom, it happens less often.
As I said, they may need some ideas to get them started. They might need a “boredom box” with some activities or strategies to get their creativity going. Things like:
Ideas for a “Boredom Box”
- Colouring books
- Blank paper
- Craft supplies (pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, tape, toilet paper rolls, yarn, scissors etc)
- Pencils/crayons/markers
- Kid friendly trivia
- Odd jobs they can complete around the house (organize shoes at the door, check that their drawers are organized, dust their dresser etc)
- Short books
- Topics/ideas for drawing or writing
- STEM toys – like these building tubes
- Toys that encourage creative thinking – like magnetics!
- Audiobooks or kid friendly-podcasts
- Games or activities like Bananagrams!
The idea is that the box only comes out when they really need it. So it will take some organization on your part to ensure it’s kept away from daily activities and that they understand how to use it.
Alternatively you could have cards handy with tasks or activities on them and they have to pick a card randomly (and completely the card).
Regardless, be sure to lay down your expectations. Perhaps they have to spend 30 minutes finding something constructive to do without your help. Maybe they have to go through a list of daily jobs (make bed, put away clothes/toys, clean an item in the house etc) before they can say they are bored. However you want to set it up, make sure it’s clear.
And there’s nothing wrong with your kid having to “find” something to do. It’s okay to let them be bored!
I’m often amazed at my own toddler when I tell him he needs to “figure it out” while I’m making supper or completing something. He always comes up with some solution to entertain himself. It’s come after a learning curve (adjusting the area he can play in, the expectations, perhaps pulling out toys ahead of time) but he almost always manages to find something to occupy his time. And the great thing is, if you have an important phone call (we recently had to sign paperwork with lawyers over zoom) you can pull out the iPad or TV and they will be more engaged because it’s different!
Fill Their Love Cups and Let Them Be Kids!
Do kids need attention? Yes, of course. Do we have to cater to their every whim at any given moment? No, of course not. It’s okay for them to use some critical thinking and explore new ideas. If we provide a safe place for them to practice, they can learn how to enjoy some quiet “boring” moments.
Being able to occupy themselves in a constructive way is an important (and undervalued) skill. So let them be bored from time to time so they can practice those skills!
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