Decision fatigue in motherhood is one of the hardest parts about being a mom. It never ends, it never goes away, every waking moment there is a decision that has to be made. And this is one of the biggest stressors for moms. So how do we manage it without burning out?

I talk about this frequently. Motherhood is exhausting and we know that. We love it because we love our children. But the long days of making decisions for everyone, navigating their needs and wants, negotiating with those who can negotiate is hard.

After weeks and months of this, we start to feel worn thin. The worry lines on our face and fatigue under our eyes are indications of the difficulty mother’s experience everyday. This isn’t a job where we can take a sick day, call in a substitute or pass off the work for tomorrow. Kids have to eat, messes need to be cleaned up and basic day to day chores need to be done.

Decision Fatigue in Motherhood

I call it decision fatigue. When I ask myself why I am so tired all the time, I realize much of it is because of the constant stream of thoughts that never have a chance to slow down.

Unlike other jobs where you can set them down and walk away, your family, your home and your life goes with you, even into bed!

I would lay my head down and remember things that needed done the next day or worry about the new behaviour patterns my toddler had adopted, I would think about the meals that should be planned and whether we were running out of yogurt.

It didn’t stop and wow did it make me tired!

How to Master the List that Needs Remembered

So how do we manage the never ending cycle of thoughts? How do we master the list that needs remembering? Here are some things that help me:

1.Give Yourself Grace

This is really important, but also really hard. It is essential to not drown in the busy days of motherhood.

God gives you grace, it is part of His covenant with us. He promises this. And the best part, it isn’t contingent on whether or not you remembered to fold the laundry today! There isn’t anything you need to do to receive this gift.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Ephesians 2:8-9

So accept the grace, use it like a lifeline!

Perfection in motherhood isn’t what we are striving for. God wants us to live our lives aligned with His word, He wants us to work at being patient, humble and gentle. He wants us to forgive, to pray and to honour Him. No where does He say we should try to do everything perfectly.

I cling to God’s grace on the days when I can feel things falling apart. When I’ve forgotten a critical item at the grocery store, when I raised my voice a little louder than necessary or when my sarcasm goes too far. I remind myself that God isn’t hovering over me with a red pen, marking my mistakes. Instead he has soap and water with a warm towel to help clean me off and start fresh.

If I seek His forgiveness and live in the grace of His promise, I don’t have to live under the panic of imperfection. I can be a mom who is doing her best and letting God handle the rest!

2. Write Things Down

I’ll let you in on a little secret, I hate lists. I hate writing to-do lists, I hate being given a to-do list, it just gives me anxiety.

Don’t ask me why, it’s just how my brain works. But I have learned that lists are what keep me organized (an organized chaos, but better than just chaos!)

If I write down the most important things that need done, it’s like it takes it off my brain’s to-do list and makes me feel lighter. Instead of trying to remember everything, I just need to remember to look at my list.

Better still, is if I write things on a calendar. This gives me a mental image of my week and what needs done. It helps to plan things out so I don’t feel like I need to do it all this afternoon!

Writing is therapeutic, the process of putting thoughts on paper has been proven to help our minds unwind. If you are looking for some good journalling devotionals, check out Ann Voskamp’s books “Gifts and Gratitudes,” or “Sacred Prayer.”

3. Put Your Week on Repeat

I find it helpful to plan things on repeat each week. Bedsheets on Wednesday, groceries on Fridays, bathrooms on Saturday…you get the idea. Then I don’t have to remember when I did those things, they just have a day when they get done. And if it doesn’t get done, I will remember that because it will be out of the ordinary so memorable!

I talk about this in my 30-70-100 blog post about planning your week around your ability. This helps with the decision fatigue in motherhood because some days we just aren’t capable of remembering and there are physiological reasons why.

So why fight who God made you to be? Let yourself rise and fall with the abilities He has given women, the wonderful ability to master everything some days and then feed our children cereal for dinner others!

4. Let God Handle What You Can’t

Sometimes we have to give it to God and let it go. Let Him handle the things we can’t. It isn’t accepting defeat or saying we have failed, it’s saying we know our limits and when we have reached the end, letting God carry on.

This is also an important lesson for children to learn. They need to see their mom doing her absolute best and then asking God to help with the rest.

We don’t want our children growing up with the expectation that their mom can and will handle everything. Honestly, this is setting them up for expectations that they themselves or their future spouse should be able to that. What we want is for them to learn that it’s okay to slow down and seek God’s rest and renewal. It’s okay to say “I can’t do this, but God can.”

Don’t Let the List Get You Down!

Yes there is always something to do. Some part of being a Christian homemaker that will always feel unfinished. I believe we feel that way so we can turn to God instead. When we pause and feel unworthy or incomplete, we should seek the one who will fill that hole.

So don’t let the decision fatigue in motherhood get you down. Don’t let the list that needs remembering make you feel like a failure. Turn it over to God and let Him handle what you can’t, accept His grace and do your best, then let God do the rest!

Want more encouragement? Check out some of these blog posts:

Seeking Identity in Motherhood

Loving Your Role as a Christian Homemaker

Scriptures to Pray Over Your Space

Free Abiding in Christ Devotional

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