If you’ve been following previous blog posts, you’ll know that my pony, mAJor, made the trip back to Southern Ontario. If this is news to you, well he travelled from Western Manitoba last week and arrived, looking tired but happy to be off the trailer. Although probably not as happy as I was to see him!

Anyways, it got me thinking about my life as an “equestrian.” Or what was my life as an “equestrian,” before I became a wife, dog mana and kid mama. There were huge learning curves when I started getting into horses. I’ll admit there were some tears as well. But I learned alot, about myself, about the world and about tackling situations.

Managing Fear

When I started out, there were so many new things. Like any activity that you learn, there are obstacles that have to be overcome. The horse world is a big one, horse care is complicated, riding is complicated and every time you feel like you’ve mastered one thing something new comes along. And of course, horses come with a certain amount of danger. My mom used to (jokingly) tell me if I fell off and was knocked unconscious to phone her. Thankfully I never had any serious accidents, although I did have my fair share of bruises and close calls.

So I had to learn how to manage my fear. I loved horses and wanted to learn everything I could about them, but that meant overcoming the hesitation and unsureness I initially experienced. And of course, horses can sense fear. Fantastic eh?

But as time wore on I learned how to handle situations with a level head. I’ll admit I still have that sting of fear from time to time, but those moments are few and far between. I’m so glad I didn’t give up in those early days, so glad I stuck to it and overcame that fear because I eventually got to the place where I could own and care for a horse myself!

I also learned that all fear is manageable. Regardless of the situation, it’s your reaction that will dictate the outcome. If you panic and let fear overwhelm you, you’ll have a hard time getting through the situation. But when you overcome fear you build confidence and that allows you to continue making mistakes, learning and growing!

Take a Deep Breath

Similar to overcoming fear, I learned how to relax and take a breath, especially when first learning to ride. There is a lot going on when you are riding. Not only is there outside stimulation (other people, horses, a riding instructor yelling at you etc) but you have to be aware of what your horse is doing along with your own body. Riding isn’t just sitting on a horse and looking pretty, every part of your body has to be in the right place, from your toes up to your head. And when you are first learning, trying to coordinate your body and your horse’s body can be, well overwhelming.

In my early days of riding, I remember my instructors telling us if we needed a minute, to bring our horses to the middle of the arena (away from the other riders) and stop. In other words, take a breath, do a reset and then head back out. I can’t count the number of times I had to do this. Clear my brain, relax my body and then go back to what we were doing.

As I got older and more adept, I was able to relax while riding. I could take that breath while cantering around and still make all the necessary decisions to keep us from crashing into a fence or another rider. And eventually one day I didn’t need to reset anymore, I became confident and comfortable with my ability.

This is something that I used in other areas of my life as well. I’m sure you’ve experienced moments of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed or just plain frustrated. It’s important to be able to work through these moments without shutting down. My time with horses taught me how to do that quick reset, work through the moment and continue on.

Forgiveness

This is true with most animals. Animals may remember things and perhaps expect certain behaviours, but they aren’t quick to judge when we make a mistake. And they usually will forgive us afterwards.

This is something we as humans need to work on. We don’t always have to hold grudges when someone does something to us. Accidents happen, people make mistakes and we may feel upset for a few minutes but it’s important to forgive and move on. Hanging around horses has been a great way to learn this.

Pay Attention

Horses communicate through body language. The slight flick of the tail can indicate annoyance. A twitching ear can mean something is moving in the bush. A sideways glance can mean someone is too close. And as humans, we have to be watching for these signs. We have to be paying attention, because a horse generally will give some sort of indication something is wrong before they react.

As a mom, I use this all the time with E. His verbal skills are still developing so it’s a lot of non verbal cues. The way he approaches a situation, his reaction to a simple problem, there’s many different ways he “tells” me without actually saying anything. Who would have thought that horses could teach me how to pick up on signals from my toddler and (sometimes) know before a meltdown happens!

Digging Deep

Working with horses is hard. It’s physically exhausting. It’s also mentally exhausting. There are days when you don’t want to get up before the crack of dawn. Days when you don’t want to layer yourself in bulky clothes to freeze your fingers on frozen buckets. Days when you don’t want to lift anymore saddles. But you have to. The horses rely on you, to feed and care for them. So you have to dig deep. You stand up, pull your boots on and head out. You leave the warmth of your living room and venture out to feed the evening meal. It’s what you do.

And again, there are many other times in life when we have to dig deep. When we are tired and don’t know if we have the energy to keep going. But those years with horses taught me that you can keep going, you can push through. There will be time for rest but it comes after the hard work is done and then it’s so much more rewarding.

Partnership

Working with horses means you have a partner. You get to know your horse on a personal level. It can get pretty intimate as you have to know everything that’s going on, from what they are eating to what is coming out their rear end. But this partnership, built over time, is a special bond between hooves and hands, and it’s not easily broken.

I spent many hours with mAJor, grooming him, teaching young kids to ride and going for bareback rides around the field. On days when I felt tired and discouraged he gave me a few quiet minutes of a different perspective. On days when I felt adventurous, he was ready to carry me around. When he felt unsure about something, I was the reassurance he needed to keep going.

We made a great team. And now my life has changed again, and so will our partnership. We won’t have as many quiet moments together or bareback evenings. He now has a little person, and I trust him to be patient with E as he learns. To allow him to explore the horse world with a pony who is forgiving, quiet and patient. I am so excited for this next chapter, and I am so glad for mAJor, my trusty partner.

There are more things I could talk about, more stories I could tell as horses have been an important part of my life since I was young. But those are probably better left for another blog post. I’ll leave it here, with the things I’ve learned from horses over the years. If you know a child who enjoys horses, encourage them to pursue it. At first glance it may seem expensive, dirty and possibly dangerous but the life lessons that can be learned are second to none. Horses really are the best teachers!